[ubuntu] [Ubuntu 15.10] Slow Boot, Shutdown, Log Out, e.t.c on an SSD

So, I have an issue. Ubuntu 15.10 seems to not like anything relating to starting or stopping a session. Everything works fine and proper once booted/restarted/logged in, but the boot time is really obnoxious. When I was using Windows 7, for example, on the exact same hardware, I would boot in about 5-10, seconds, and maybe 5 for shutdown. You can see why this bothers me.

Output of systemd-analyze
Startup finished in 1.634s (keel) + 3min 575ms (userspace) = 3min 2.209s

Output of systemd-analyze blame (only the particularly long parts)
25.728s systemd-timesyncd.service
4.991s NetworkManager-wait-online.service
519ms [email protected]e
346ms gpu-manager.service
295ms dev-sdb5.device
259ms mnt-Storage.mount
176ms systemd-localed.service
170ms systemd-backlight@backlight:acpi_video0.service
163ms systemd-fsck@dev-disk-byx2duuid-bf01ce45x2d1960x2d4093x2db7
134ms systemd-tmpfiles-setup.service
130ms systemd-hostnamed.service
126ms apparmor.service
113ms [email protected]e
110ms systemd-random-seed.service

And a dmesg line which I think may be the culprit.
[ 3.483029] input: HDA NVidia HDMI/DP,pcm=3 as /devices/pci0000:00/0000:00:01.0/0000:01:00.1/sound/card2/input18
[ 3.483138] input: HDA NVidia HDMI/DP,pcm=7 as /devices/pci0000:00/0000:00:01.0/0000:01:00.1/sound/card2/input19
[ 3.483227] input: HDA NVidia HDMI/DP,pcm=8 as /devices/pci0000:00/0000:00:01.0/0000:01:00.1/sound/card2/input20
[ 3.483290] input: HDA NVidia HDMI/DP,pcm=9 as /devices/pci0000:00/0000:00:01.0/0000:01:00.1/sound/card2/input21
[ 28.071823] NMI watchdog: BUG: soft lockup - CPU#0 stuck for 23s! [nvidia-smi:504]

as well as
[ 28.071915] Call Trace:
[ 28.071974] [<ffffffffc067d6a0>] _nv018866rm+0x8570/0xbd60 [nvidia]
[ 28.072031] [<ffffffffc06743d5>] ? _nv000903rm+0x85/0xb0 [nvidia]
[ 28.072088] [<ffffffffc06741b4>] ? _nv014190rm+0x164/0x220 [nvidia]
[ 28.072146] [<ffffffffc065dd0d>] ? _nv014771rm+0x4d/0x140 [nvidia]
[ 28.072204] [<ffffffffc0661ef8>] ? _nv000799rm+0x278/0x380 [nvidia]
[ 28.072261] [<ffffffffc0662220>] ? _nv000717rm+0x220/0x3b0 [nvidia]
[ 28.072318] [<ffffffffc066fc8a>] ? _nv000734rm+0x2ba/0x340 [nvidia]
[ 28.072375] [<ffffffffc0663e5a>] ? rm_disable_adapter+0x6a/0x130 [nvidia]
[ 28.072385] [<ffffffffc1e08100>] ? uvm_get_mode+0x60/0x80 [nvidia_uvm]
[ 28.072416] [<ffffffffc014420e>] ? nv_uvm_notify_stop_device+0x5e/0x80 [nvidia]
[ 28.072444] [<ffffffffc01357a5>] ? nv_close_device+0x105/0x150 [nvidia]
[ 28.072474] [<ffffffffc01379a4>] ? nvidia_close+0xd4/0x2c0 [nvidia]
[ 28.072503] [<ffffffffc01353ac>] ? nvidia_frontend_close+0x2c/0x50 [nvidia]
[ 28.072505] [<ffffffff81202064>] ? __fput+0xe4/0x220
[ 28.072506] [<ffffffff812021ee>] ? ____fput+0xe/0x10
[ 28.072507] [<ffffffff8109a653>] ? task_work_run+0x73/0x90
[ 28.072510] [<ffffffff81015f09>] ? do_notify_resume+0x69/0x70
[ 28.072512] [<ffffffff817f9084>] ? int_signal+0x12/0x17
[ 28.072519] Code: 00 00 55 89 f0 89 fa 48 89 e5 66 ef 5d c3 0f 1f 44 00 00 66 2e 0f 1f 84 00 00 00 00 00 0f 1f 44 00 00 55 89 f0 89 fa 48 89 e5 ef <5d> c3 0f 1f 44 00 00 55 89 fa 48 89 e5 ec 5d c3 66 90 0f 1f 44
[ 91.958747] cgroup: new mount options do not match the existing superblock, will be ignored
[ 92.073075] IPv6: ADDRCONF(NETDEV_UP): enp3s0: link is not ready
[ 92.117834] r8169 0000:03:00.0 enp3s0: link down
[ 92.117856] IPv6: ADDRCONF(NETDEV_UP): enp3s0: link is not ready
[ 92.119318] IPv6: ADDRCONF(NETDEV_UP): wlp5s0: link is not ready
[ 92.125850] IPv6: ADDRCONF(NETDEV_UP): wlp5s0: link is not ready
[ 92.203347] IPv6: ADDRCONF(NETDEV_UP): wlp5s0: link is not ready
[ 92.806545] nvidia-modeset: Allocated GPU:0 (GPU-f526b610-c868-2104-564b-1097d88803d7) @ PCI:0000:01:00.0

Sorry if this wasn't formatted or done properly, as I've never used a help forum before. I think I at least got the post in the right section part down. Thanks for any help you could provide.