[kubuntu] pulling hair out

this is doing my head in.. second day trying to install kubuntu.
done all i should (i think) shrunk 8.1 volume, to create new partition, installed live cd, in the end of many many try of secure boot on/off etc i got the live cd to work, installed to empty partition with sections for boot/swap etc, still will only run with disc in an into live.
soooo after a whole day of tht, this moing i cleared the HD partition again in a final attempt.
this time using a usb, which is impossible to make active until i used cmd line dskpart to do it that way.
the first time i got a window i never saw before, grub, didt say anything, didnt know what to do there so typed exit....never saw it again!
i get a blue screen as usual, with choose operating system, win 8.1 or unbuntu, win runs fine...hate windows!, butu does not, i get the black screen and the file winboot wubi thing.
there is no trace of wubi on my system, not in the uninstall prog or even in regedit., so i dont know whts going on now, the live cd did at least run, the usb dont at all.
please, if anyone can help before i launch this laptop out the window!
its an hp laptop 4gb ram, i have left secure boot on now as that did boot the live cd, but now i just get the wubi prob all the time
thank you guys